The Christmas Card

The one you order in November and are glad about every December after that.

It is a warm room at night. A decorated tree and strings of fairy lights sit well out of focus behind, throwing round golden bokeh across the background, and the light has the quality of firelight rather than overhead bulbs: warm, directional and full of deep comfortable shadow. Your pet wears a chunky hand knitted jumper in deep red and cream with a simple traditional pattern, fitted properly rather than draped over the shoulders like a costume.

That fit is the difference between charming and embarrassing. A jumper that sits on the animal the way a real one would reads as affection. One that hangs off it reads as a joke at the pet's expense, and jokes stop being funny by the second week of January while the picture stays up.

We keep the whole thing rich rather than garish. No cartoon snow, no novelty antlers, no text. It is a portrait that happens to be at Christmas, which is why people leave it up long past the season and why it works as a gift for someone who already owns everything.

It suits every animal. Long coated pets look especially good against knitwear, and dark pets gain enormously from the warm light.